Successful parents are not perfect parents. Neither do they have perfect children. Over the years I have read much about parenting. I have been around parents whom I have admired. There are several things that I have noticed about successful parenting. There seems to be several characteristics of parents who excel with their children. They have a good relationship with their children who make good adjustments in life.
- LOVE is the theme of successful parents:
Their children know that they are loved unconditionally. Children will misbehave, make poor choices and have problems. The key is the way parents respond. Loving parents correct, discipline and train their children. The motive is always loving concern. Children with parents like these understand that they are loved regardless of the problem. Loving parents are not permissive parents. They provide boundaries and require obedience, but their children always know that they are loved.
- CONSISTENCY is a trait of successful parents:
Their children are not confused about what their parents expect. The boundaries of expectation are clear. They provide security for the child by providing consistent, clear expectations. The actions and attitudes of the parents become predictable. The discipline and training is consistent, as well as the loving care.
- EXAMPLE is the power of a successful parent:
It’s not just do what I say, but it is an example that makes an impression on a child for a lifetime. For example, a minister asked a man why he became a Christian. He said, “It wasn’t so much about the sermons that I heard, but it was more about the way my mother lived. Her life was an example to me of what a Christian should be.” The power of example cannot be disputed. The influence of parents on their children says more than words.
- UNDERSTANDING is a characteristic of successful parents:
Children need to be understood in their developmental tasks for each stage of growth. Parents must understand what their children think and feel. Understanding their gender needs is important. The frustration level of a child is lowered just knowing that a parent understands. Loving parents understand how to help their children with specific needs.
- COMMUNICATION is an important part of parenting:
This is more than talking to a child. It is also listening. Children need to know that they can express their thoughts, anxieties and problems without getting in trouble. They must feel safe to communicate openly with parents. Understanding is facilitated by active listening. Successful parents have children who can talk to their parents about anything.