Ephesians 5: 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Over the years, since I was doing my doctoral work in marriage and family, I have read many books on the marriage relationship. More than that, I have observed happy marriages. No doubt, there are characteristics that appear in healthy relationships. All marriages go through stressful times and difficult situations. Healthy marriages survive and thrive through it all. For the most part, they are happy relationships.
Four Factors to Remember in Building a Happy Marriage:
Commitment is a word that describes happy marriages. This provides security in the relationship. The couple are transparent and vulnerable to each other. There are no secrets between them. They work out their problems together. Their commitment is more than a legalistic attitude to marriage. It is a bond of love that assures them that they are meant for each other. They cannot think of life apart.
Communication is an essential for a happy marriage. It is open communication in every area. They feel comfortable talking with each other about everything. They make decisions and plans f together. They know the thoughts of the other one on all significant issues. They communicate more than facts. They communicate on an emotional, intimate level. They always listen to each other and continue to discuss any disagreement until it is resolved. The couple communicates their love for each other in words, actions and gifts. They reassure and affirm each other.
- Common Denominators:
Common denominators are important in a happy marriage. We have often heard that opposites attract. That may be true in some situations, but common denominators are important to strengthen the bond of marriage.
Their faith and family values are in agreement. Their parenting style is agreed. Their view of family finances coincides. The couple has agreed on goals and plans for the future. They are walking the same path in life. They enjoy being together, sharing the same interests.
Companionship is a key to happy marriages. That is to say, they really love being together. The couple does not like to be apart. They are involved in every area of each others lives. There is no part of life which puts a wall between them. When friends think about them, they think in terms of them together. They intend to spend as much time together as possible. When they must be apart, they telephone each other to keep in touch. They energize each other and need each other.