# The envelopes came twice a week and they always ended up in the trash unopened. This went on for two months before someone started delivering them in person.
# “You can call it whatever you want. Magic or guilt or both, but you can never lie to me.”
# Something silent slithers out of the trees at the sound of the bell.
# Everything was carved out of marble. From the columns that held up the ceiling to the glistening floors. Even the tables that lined the halls were all swirling shades of white and blue.
# Everything was milky white and grey, smothered in snow and ash until nothing was left but silence and cold.
# “I would rather be set on fire than listen to you anymore.”
# “Give me one good reason why I should let you buy a cart full of fireworks.”
# Let me tell you the story of how I ended up barefoot on the roof of my own home at 2 am.
# They found the plane in the undergrowth. It had been there for who knows how long, and was covered top to bottom in vines and fallen leaves.
# “The whole town does not need to see you falling off my balcony, leave using the door please.”
# Holy crap I have actually forgotten how to run this company.
# I am slowly getting my brainpower back. What is this blog about again? Prompts? Stick around to see if posts actually get made this time.
# That’s it, really. I’m more than a little fried. Just stick with it, my lovelies.
# “You set my hair on fire!”
# “You needed a haircut anyway.”
# “What are you doing in my house, you dork? How did you even get in here?”
# “Is nobody going to comment on the fact that you threw me off a roof?”
# “You’re fine though, right?”

::::

# How To Train Garden Gnomes and Why You Shouldn’t
# “What’s the point of having a super power if I can’t use it to make my life easier? Like hell yeah I’m gonna use it to dry my laundry faster or make a kickass dinner in like 30 seconds. If I have to deal with this bullshit for the rest of my life then it better make it easier.”
# It’s at this point that I realize that I won’t remember anything when I wake up tomorrow, so I say all my goodbyes tonight.
# It was dark and cold and wet, basically the exact opposite of what a secret laboratory should be. But beggars can’t be choosers, and suburban wizards needed a potions lab somewhere.

1: How To Keep a Demon the Correct Way
2: Thanks for a Whole Bunch of Nothing
3: Another Stupid Night Stuck In What Can Only Be Hell
4: How Not To Be An Idiot: Part 6
5: 10,000 Steps Later and I’m Still No Closer To Finishing This Novel

# “I don’t care if you are a potions expert, anything that looks like death and smells like death and keeps melting all my good pots has to be death and I don’t want it in my house.”
# “If you don’t let me in that room he’s going to die, and then me and you are going to have a problem. Understand?”
# It was at this point that they realized the cause of their eternal frustration was their only way out.
# After using several complex algorithms, two dart boards and a round of ‘eeny meeny miney mo’, the winners for this week have been decided.
# Write about the last argument you’ve had. Write about it from both POVs and with positive and negative points to both sides of the argument.

::::::

# ”I could have told you that “Keep Out” sign wasn’t just for fun, but no, you had to check it out. Now you’re a cat. How’s that working out for you?”
# She winced at the crash and wondered how she was going to explain this one away.
# The large pot on the stove bubbled and hissed like an angry cat. It changed colors three times in as many seconds, and finally sputtered out a cloud of smoke that arranged itself into a skull.
# “I just paid $170 to stand in the presence of a man who answered three questions I didn’t even ask.”
# He found himself breathing, and was honestly very surprised by that fact.
# “So, it only took two days for you to start a war with a clan of vampires AND a bunch of fairies. Please, tell me your secrets.”
# Indefinite. Currently no end in sight
# a-madwoman-with-a-box-deactivat asked: Help! I cannot think of a good replacement for “stomach in knots” and I have a narrative essay due tomorrow!!! I tried googling it but no luck. Any suggestions??
# Maybe something like this?

Phrases:
Stomach turning
Butterflies in your stomach
Stomach doing somersaults
His/her stomach dropped
His/her stomach lurched
Stomach dropped to his/her feet

Single words:
Twisted
Fluttery
Queasy
Rumbling
Nauseating
Bubbling
Aflutter
Heavy
Lurched

# The shop looked like it didn’t quite know what it wanted to be.
# The shop had a haphazard collection of Ikea shelves lined with dusty bottles of oil and sticks of incense shoved recklessly into cups. Tarot cards and candles took up space on the side board and the counter was full of a surprising and mildly disturbing amount of tiny animal heads that were covered in a thin layer of dust. Small cauldrons and wooden boxes and crystals and buckets of unidentifiable things took up the rest of the space, and a shadowed door led to a tiny back room.
# “I’m pretty sure that pawn shop is just a front for money laundering and drug deals, so maybe don’t go in there.”
# The funeral stopped quite abruptly, and everyone turned in their seats to stare at something behind them.
# That’s What They Said
# “You know, maybe running two miles with a sprained ankle wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had.”
# I work at a coffee shop and I purposely spell your name wrong on your cup of coffee every time you come in.
# This asshole keeps spelling my name wrong on my cup of coffee and I KNOW it’s on purpose because it keeps getting increasingly creative.
# We’re seatmates on an airplane and we end up fighting over storage space. We almost end up yelling when your bag moves and I find out you’ve smuggled a tiny puppy on board so it wouldn’t be lonely and I will keep this a secret if you let me pet it.
# It’s snowing and I’m walking down the street when you literally come sliding down the hill out of nowhere and crash into some bushes.
# I picked up your bag at the airport by accident and now I’m on a quest to find out who you are by using your strange belongings as clues.

::::::

# “You throw another enchanted snowball at me and we’re going to have a problem.”
# Create titles for all of your chapters, even ones you haven’t wrote yet.
# Change the genre of your favorite book and write about it.
# Switch your main character and side character without changing their personalities. How does this change your story?
# Find your oldest piece of writing and rewrite it.
# Open the nearest book to a random page and summarize it. Write about what happens next.
# Write the last page of your novel, even if you haven’t made it there yet.
# Pick two strangers in public and write about how they interact with each other.
# Switch genres halfway through your story.
# End your story with the same word you started with.
# Write a story where the genre isn’t specified or noticed until the last line/paragraph.
# Switch your antagonist and protagonist without switching their personalities.
# Write a list of everything that shouldn’t happen in your story, and make it happen.
# Gather every story you haven’t finished this year and finish them.
# Watch two people do the same things and write about how they do it differently.

:::::::

# I DID NOT PANIC BECAUSE I ONLY EVER LOOK YOU UP IN MOBILE. YOUR PANIC INDUCING PLAN IS FOILED. CURSES. FOILED AGAIN.
# Bear with this extremely trying ordeal and it will be over before you know it.
# The first time I ever saw that man I wanted nothing more than to punch him square in the face.
# I still miss all kinds of stuff.

How They Met – Christmas Edition:
1: We both find the perfect Christmas tree at the exact same time and I will fight you for it.
2: Our office is doing Secret Santa and we cheated and found out we’re each others and now we’re trying to top the others present.
3: We’re both heading home for the holidays but our plane ends up snowed in at the airport. You have soft blankets and I have snacks and in the end it doesn’t turn out so bad.
4: My house is literally across the street from your house and every year we get into a giant contest to see who has the best Christmas decorations and I WILL WIN THIS YEAR.
5: You get stuck in your chimney while putting up decorations and I have to rescue you. You want to go back up to save the decorations.

Incorporate at least three of these tropes in your story:
Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
Bad Luck Charm
Rescue Introduction
Riddle Me This
Try Everything

# Don’t underestimate the power of red lipstick.
# “In about three seconds you’re going to hear a very loud noise. Do not be alarmed.”
# I woke up underneath an ornate wooden table in an unfamiliar living room.
# That seventh cup of coffee might have been a mistake.
# One minute I was sitting in math class, and the next everything was dark and we were missing fifteen people.
# Every night my nightmares started the same way.
# There is a strange man in my kitchen and I am concerned about how he got there.
# It was too cold to be running for my life.
# Monday morning I woke up to sirens ringing in front of my house. Sirens are never a good thing, and it obviously made this Monday morning even more annoying than I thought it would be.

Write a scene that uses at least three of the tropes below:
Surrounded by Idiots
The Trickster
Classy Cat Burglar
Creepy Doll
Bavarian Fire Drill5
Switch the gender of your main protagonist. How does it change the story?

::::

# Mr. Anderson liked to collect things. Illegal things. I don’t even know how he found some of them. He kept most of them in his living room.
# It all started when I walked into a dingy flee market off highway 62.
# The shop was small and cramped and filled floor to ceiling with stuff that I’m pretty sure was illegal. In fact, I’m pretty sure that 90% of the whole shop was illegal.
# Pick a name at randomin todays news and write a few paragraphs describing how you think that character should look.
# “That can literally be used as a Frisbee. You’re not allowed to make pancakes anymore.”
# “That is honestly the worst possible idea I’ve ever heard, and if we try it we are probably going to fail horribly, not to mention the time and effort it’s going to take to even figure out how to do something of that magnitude.”
# “Stop coming in through my window. There’s literally a door right there.”
# I was having one of those days where you sort of wished you got hit by a car before you reach your destination.
# That stupid smug cat sat on top of my TV and looked like it knew something I didn’t.

:::::

Write a scene that contains at least three of the tropes below:
Can’t Get In Trouble For Nuthin’
Loophole Abuse
Chekhov’s Boomerang
Brick Joke
Dumbass Has A Point
Boring Color Changes and Lots and Lots of ….

# Now there’s all the tags all sorted nice and neat right in the sidebar
# As we don’t really need it anymore.
# Shouting at the night sky with a megaphone
# Every day he returned to the same place to take the same picture.
# I didn’t want to get burned alive, so I decided to lie. It was a reasonable choice, I think.
# That is the smallest ghost I have ever seen.
# “I told you not to drink that, you moron.”
# It took three days before we realized it was the wrong skeleton.
# “Okay. We’re going to stop for a minute and pretend everything is okay.”
# “Why is there a dragon in my refrigerator?”
# “It was hot.”
# “One cursed object in the house was enough. Why do you keep bringing in more?”
# “It’s okay. If something goes wrong, we can always use the spaceship.”
# The drink was bitter and tasted like battery acid, and it burned all the way down. He coughed and forced himself to swallow. He hoped the taste was worth it.
# “I love you from the bottom of my heart, but I don’t trust your cooking. Stay out of my kitchen.”
# The house was on fire. And, you know, that’s not really something I want to deal with this early in the morning.
# I fell asleep in California. I did not wake up in California.

:::::

# The beginning of the apocalypse started when a unicorn fell from the sky and landed on the roof of my car. It was fine, honest, and it ate my steering wheel. I was so distracted by this that I almost missed the rest of the apocalypse.
# “I might be wrong, but I don’t think pulling a knife on someone is going to make them like you more.”
# “Look, we both know he’s not going to stay dead for long. Let’s get out of here.”
# The mansion was dark and cold and honestly looked like it was about to fall down from neglect. Naturally, we couldn’t wait to get inside.
# I went fishing for trout and came back with something that talked and sang and tried to swim in my bathtub.
# Time stopped for a moment before it sputtered back to life, like a flickering candle.
# I have only broken one bone in my life and it was a complete accident. I have had multiple concussions, however, and at least one of them was on purpose.
# “You just need to accept the fact that, if you bring me with you, the worst thing possible will happen at all times.”
# We spend the longest night of our lives in the dark.
# “I just want you to leave tonight and think the world is a little less horrible than you thought.”
# I didn’t really know what to do with the hole in the floor, so I shoved a rug over it and hoped nobody would notice.
# Sometimes the situation just calls for a scream, so I did. This was not one of those times. But, you know, I felt better after it was all over, so that’s something.
# The Grim Reaper was…smaller than I expected.
# I accidentally turned into someone else today.