“Uh-oh!” He sensed something had gone wrong mere heartbeats before his own fire ball came careening back to explode at the most unfortunate location…
A gryphon tethered to the apple tree in front of the house meant only one thing . . .
The magic was supposed to work. So why was she still standing here, gaping at her hand as though it had grown three extra fingers and a nose?
Why aren’t you wearing any pants?
It all started when the dragon left.
An arrow arched across the sky and plunged into the bushes.
A salamander once told me that you never know where you’re going until you get there, and even then you might not know. Salamanders never made much sense to me either.
Magic had disappeared, and I was the cause of it.
And the world that had been was no more.
It was a dark, stormy night…
He was a dark and stormy knight…
It was a bright and sunny day …
It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, it was a pleasant sunny day, but it should have been a dark and stormy night!
No one can go back and write a new beginning, but anyone can start today and write a new ending.
Legend said he would come. Reason said he would not.
The cart rocked from side to side, as the single horse pulled it over the thin, muddy road. The bodies of the freshly hanged robbers lay limply piled on each other, heads lolling back and forth. One started to move, and from beneath her friends, NAME climbed out of the cart.
Watch her, he’d said. Protect her. Maybe he’d forgotten who I am.
“You called on the Thunder?! Great! Just great! What’s the Wind going to say about this? You know you always use the Wind.”
Seven shadowy figures stood in the light of the fire they encircled, waiting for the arrival of their eighth member. It was time to take action, even if it meant going to war.
The sky seemed serene only seconds before it burst into flame.
What the heck happened to the bologna?
The (boy/girl/etc/ or I works) screamed as I opened my birthday gift. In the box stood a gnome.
Wake up sleepyhead! You’ve just missed it! The waffles have begun flying!
“Give me blood.”
Legend has it that there were three towers at the ends of the world that held up the cosmos. [name] knew that it wasn’t true. Of course it couldn’t be true; he’d been there. It was actually five towers.
There was nobody left to question the wind.
The dragon looked at him with his sword and armour, uttered the single word “amateurs”, and flew away to find some lunch.
There are always beaches of some form or other in all the worlds of the cosmos, on this one sat a crying giant.
The orc stood up, looked at me, and sat down again. “I can’t eat you, you’re way to short and scrawny. Come back in five years, then I’ll consider eating you.”
Does your birthday begin with you being snatched out of bed, stabbed with a knife then kicked out of a tenth story window?
Once upon a time there lived a princess who had never been shut in a tower, never been cursed by an evil witch, and was not at all beautiful. Her life was exceedingly dull until the day the sorcerer arrived.
She looked at the emu and burst into tears. “You don’t know me at all, do you?” she wailed. “You know my favorite bird is a water ouzel!”
‘That morning the woman came to our village. The woman with her hair as red as fire and as black as the devil. I was afraid of her.
There are three rules to life. The most important one being: Never mess with flying monkeys.
I was not lying when I said that Heaven smells of fresh strawberries.
Nothing in ____’s entire life has prepared him/her for this.
His hair is black as ebony, his lips are red as blood, and his skin is pale as snow. He is my brother, and I love him with all my heart.
“Why the (insert curse word here) would anyone believe in a godsforsaken prophecy?”
Everything started with an explosion sixteen years ago.
I was always obsessed with green Formica counter-tops.
If my counting is correct, this is the seventh time I have died. It really does get annoying after a while.
*insert color here*’ eyes opened to a new world.
“Am I… Alive?”
Why don’t you try online chat rooms? I’ll bet you’ll find the right demon there.
“Don’t get me wrong, I like dragons. I just don’t like them sitting on my chest at three in the morning, demanding Turkish coffee and bread pudding right away.”
Demons don’t have much imagination.
His sainted grandmother had a good expression for times like this: “life is a bucket of shit with its handles on the inside.”
“And just what do you think killing him will accomplish? You’ll have to do better than that if you want to make a change in the world.”
“Ha! Give me one reason not to kill you.”
“Have fun in the labyrinth, then.”
“I always knew that the end of the world would come, but I never imagined that I’d be the one ending it.”
“These men are the only things protecting us from the Scourge, and you want to use them for that?!”
The rain poured down in torrents, bombarding the two without mercy. “Hey look, the gods are showing how much they like us!”
_____ walked over to him, helping slide the thin shaft from his shoulder. He slapped him on the back and smiled; “These barbarians need to work on their manners!”
___ had never been lucky still he/she ought to know better than to piss off a fairy.
“Now, seriously…who let the dogs out?” ____ questioned while trying to avoid being licked by a two-headed hellhound.
“May I remind you that he was coming after you with a sword at the time. And he was stark naked.”
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess but this story is not about her.
“You think this is a fantasy? Hehehe… no. This is my world. It is something much, much more.”
In their darkest hour, in their time of greatest need, the blade was taken up by a hero… and shattered like glass with the first blow.
Destiny had a way of coming for people, of taking their hand and leading them on their path, but MC had never cared for destiny. The last time it had come for him/her, he/she had butchered it where it stood and gone on his/her way.
It was a time when man’s worth was judged by his ability to take life.
Vengeance was a self-perpetuating cycle of eternal life, thriving on the deaths of those that came before. MC laughed. He/she may die, but vengeance never would.
It is not often that you can trace the end of the world back to one person. But in the case of [planet/place/etc], you can do exactly that.
The sky wept as the land beneath it died.
“Oh bother.” Lesker said with a sigh as he awoke to the bright morning sky. It promised to be a beautiful spring morning, the birds were already singing and dancing in the trees above and the snow white apple blossoms spread out across the orchard below him. The outer fringes of Rellis could be seen across the tree tops. He was almost a hundred miles in the wrong direction. . .again. He had accidentally teleported himself in his sleep before but it seemed to be happening with more frequency of late. Sitting on the log next to the fire he didn’t remember building Lesker began to puzzle his new predicament out.
I love my field partner and boyfriend to death, but he’s an absolute danger magnet. Someday I’m going to teach him how to get from point A to point B without trying to get himself killed. No one was even after us last time he was sent to the hospital. We were just walking to school—no disguises, no magic, no mind tricks, no hidden enemies, no ninjas, and no work—just walking to school and he somehow managed to trip on the sidewalk, fall into the open street, and get hit by a car. I mean, who has that kind of luck? Idiot. But I still love him. He’s one of those people you just can’t help but love, you know? I’ll be putting up with his shenanigans and allowing him to scare me silly for the rest of my life, simply because I can’t imagine life without him anymore. Sorry thing for an eighteen-year-old-girl to say, huh?
[someone else] “What?”
[someone] “I’ll give you a ride to the hospital if” . . .
Real life conversation once.
I am the most famous teenager in the United States. That is…I’m the most famous, but no one really knows. Only the dragons.
MC took a breath and closed his/her eyes, willing the power they kept telling him/her flowed through his/her veins to come out of his/her veins and into her ash wand. Everyone else in his/her year could cast this spell. It was a simple spell, a transportation spell that they should have learned in their first month. And most of them had learned it. But not MC. MC could no more manage a transport spell than he/she could fly… something else he/she should be able to do.
MC had never been a particularly brave person. He/she had always prided himself on his/her theory that it was better to run away than to stay and be eaten by whichever tiger happened to be attacking the village that day. The fact that tigers very rarely attacked Location was of absolutely no importance. Nor did he/she care much about the things people told him when they wanted him/her to be braver, things like ‘you’re only young once,’ or ‘when i was your age, insects were the size of griffons.’ MC wanted to grow up as quickly as he/she could, and he/she did not much care what had happened when his/her parents were young. He/she had not been around then, and he/she was glad for it.
MC looked at the list before him/her, trying to decide which sounded the least dreadful.
In a time before time, villains gathered huge armies and crushed empires. These days, they’re more prone to drinking coffee and staging political coups.
By the time I finished sending a perfectly worded email to my adviser, my coffee was stone cold, my lights had gone out, and my heater had turned off of its own volition.
An armchair came flying at my head.
The damsel wasn’t looking very distressed; the prince was throwing assorted fruit at his henchmen; and through it all, the dragon was smiling smugly down at his handiwork.
Not many people in the world can say their dinners were interrupted by a pair of elves with swords jumping through the kitchen window.
When ________ had a dream about fire and magic, she/he knew something in the world had changed. Whether for the worse or the better, nobody could have said.
A cheese quesadilla with Bacon on it when cooked on a dragon’s fire is something else altogether.
The best things in life are often products of someone’s imagination running amok.
“It was # years ago that Main Villain (MV) suffered a fate worse than death. MV had once been highly esteemed, loved by most of the known world. But because of MV’s actions on that fateful day the person MV most loved died in MV’s arms. It can only be concluded that MV went a bit insane because of this. And that is why it snowed turnips last Friday/month/summer and we are going off to fight the forces of evil.”
In [City Name], you could buy souls on the black market.
Never take advice from a talking plant. It can only end badly. That was the first rule they taught me at the academy. That was also the first rule I broke.
Right after her morning tea, the Queen sent her Master of Arms to awaken her Monster.
It was the ugliest ghost [name] had ever seen, and that including the poor soul at the air terminal with its ribs sticking out of its back.
Before things were peaceful and dragons lived in peace with humans. They were messengers, carriers, and friends.
“What in the name of potatoes are you doing here?” I asked.
“Oh now look what you did! Why didn’t you stop and ask for directions, you are such a male sometimes,” my friend shouted.
There’s no guarantee I’ll be able to finish telling you this story, but I’ll start anyway. I used to be a princess, but I’ve been stripped of my crown and banned from my country.
It was raining. Again. It always rained in (country). That wouldn’t have been a problem if it weren’t for the fact that the royal messenger was trying his damnedest to keep dry the important documents tucked under his oiled cloak. If even a drop landed on the official-looking papers, (messenger) had little doubt Her Royal Majesty would find something very blunt and shove it in a rather inconvenient part of his body….
Sometimes you have these memories of things that happened a long time ago, but they’re so hideous that you don’t dare look directly at them. Sort of like scars that you keep hidden from everyone else but can’t quite forget, because you know they will always be with you even in your final days.
Before The End, people complained that the world was falling apart. That it was rotten from the inside out, and that our society would eventually crack from the strain of so much filth and corruption like many civilizations before it. But they didn’t really expect for it to come, leastways not when they were still alive. And only when The End finally arrived on our world’s doorstep did the domino effect begin.