So In lieu of the redneck story that never panned out, Ill tell you the story about the time I caught a guy robbing my apartment in college.
At the time, I didnt have a cellphone, and the phone in the house was encumbered by a cord attaching the handset to the wall.
Here I am looking for the idiot dressed in camouflage to come in and wow us with tales of hunting with Clem and how Little John got a wild hair and decided to pester Big John poking him with a stick while he was sleepin, an done got Big John riled up ta whar he come at him with a buck knife and like ta kilt him if Regular John hadnt broke it up.
I hope you enjoyed it and learned not to be stupid like I was if you see someone in your house who doesnt live there.
There is nothing in the world that will make you angrier than knowing someone is in your house going through your stuff, taking whatever he wants.
I was looking forward to meeting Lindas family in the hopes that they would be all rednecky and give me a funny story to write.
I had to ask myself why I was so looking forward to meeting a bunch of retards to blast in my diary, and realized that I had just learned a lesson from a bunch of rednecks.
I parked my car, started to get out and glanced up at the window, and there was some guy who wasnt paying any rent staring back at me.
I looked in the back seat and found a 1 dowel that I was going to use for a model making project, and instantly decided it would look great in an evidence room covered with this guys dried blood and brain matter.
When he wouldnt respond, I started kicking him in the ribs to encourage him, and then realized that he probably couldnt breathe with me all trying to kill him and stuff, so I relented, just in case he was a maintenance guy and I ended up making a huge mistake.
In any case, the food was unbelievable and plentiful, and no one said a word when I fell asleep on the recliner 15 minutes after eating and remained there for almost two hours.
I have never really let that subject influence whether I date a girl or not, except taking into account the fact that the ones who dont want kids are much less terrifying than the ones who you know are just dying for your seed.
I love them both, and I love hanging out with them and teaching them things that they are learning for the first time, like how to run safely with a kitchen knife, which stuff in grandpas workshop is corrosive, and just how angry domestic cats can become.
I am getting more and more set in my ways and used to the luxury of waking up Saturday morning and sitting in front of a blank page for seven hours with a pencil, just to see what I come up with.
I started to think more about it when my sister got married.hink superpower what question answered always comprehensive someone because silverstreak person particularly expectations conservative but thinking snowpaws brittany first development conferrable competition comfortably lonely around thoughtful originally never mysterious loneliness especially attributes through forever comment biggest anymore temporary technique specially sometimes september questions ourselves naturally difficult shes like youre years thats asked within things please people myself losing heaven afraid yourself whatever want tomorrow terrible survival stressed settling settings romantic response replying remember life know friendly dont creative comments children breaking attitude approach anything while there still guess going force field entry about watcher thought talknig society respect replied realize.
Shes still in development but shes this sexy, mysterious beauty, that is secure enough within herself that she doesnt need to obsess over what anyone else thinks.
I think that is how I want to be, but I guess the question is, How much of her is me naturally, how much of ourselves can we just develop, and how much are we born with?
In the case of American beauty, it never fails to amaze and move me a lot and I love how the story goes unfolding and the characters learn great lessons and perhaps, in the end, it’s all about the true meaning of happiness and how things are never what they seem.
I caught on that he was talking about how no one has respect these days, and then he thrust the door open for me and stood holding it until I walked through.
We feel frustrated or bugged by the fact that we are so willing to do something and we long for it so strongly and it just doesn’t happen due to many factors; some we can’t talk about it, some we don’t want to talk about it, some we’re so frank about.
I particularly love Nicole in Moulin rouge!, The hours and the others; you can feel the emotions of the characters and understand what moves them and where they are coming from.
There’s this moment in our lives where we get stuck, where we would like to go out and do the things we love, where we wish we could have what we want, where we could be whatever we want.
I had a four hour break ahead of me, and generally on these days I welcome distraction and magic.
At first it was muffled and slurred but still somehow loud in the manner of all feisty white-haired black Cajun men I have encountered; they speak from the gut.
I have millions of memeories and snippets in my head, I’m not going to bother going through everything I ever remember.
First, a nice lady who shuns Western medicine makes you lie on one of those slanty sit-up bench things, so you’re head is lower than knees.
Let it be noted that the girl is so professional, and your dignity is so very respected that you’ll never be embarrassed.
A warm flush of what will be the beginning of about 35 gallons of water is released inside, and the words ‘suck it up’ take on a whole new meaning for you.
I’d really like to claim that it was the idea of a thorough detoxification that turned me onto the idea of a colonic massage, but let’s be honest here.
I never thought it would actually happen because I’d never heard of anyone doing it except very beautiful people who work in Hollywood and have contracts that say no full-frontal, but half a nipple is fine.
And her soothing words and the sight of the tube flow will make you want to go home and eat nothing but green vegetable for the next three months.
I’m smoking a lot less, I’m actually eating better by choice and not out of Weight Watching guilt, and last week, I went on the treadmill a lot!
as they’ve told you to not eat for two hours prior, and her skilled Colon Therapist Hands are hitting all the bingo spots, while still very relaxing, you quickly get a trapped gas sensation, and the need to release starts to make red spots appear before your eyes.
she gets you in a semi-fetal position on your side, does some deft movements under the towel, and the part of your body that’s designed to ‘push’ definitely loses that particular argument.
after diet and exercise and more diet and even more exercise, the Faking It model experts decided that if the sow’s ear in question got his colon irrigated, it would probably make him lose a couple of inches around the middle.
Jane will repeat this little process several times throughout the hour, as well as making you feel embarrassingly squashy when she starts to apply hand pressure to your alarmingly lax abdominal fleshy bits.
I wouldn’t say things are peachy what with the giant hose in your bum, but you know, there are worst ways to spend an hour.
Just before humiliation fumigates the place though, she helps you up, asks you to disrobe from the waist down and hands you a towel to wrap around yourself.
you think of the about television everything diary what favorite things movies chrome change think misadventures name reality reading unattainable scissorhands your question heathers anything three superheroic restraining musculature interesting governments little enough pretending physically obligatory judgmental completely chocolates cheekbones austrailia updates islands stupidity situation questions president murderous masochist marriages ignorance goverment diaryland chocolate shows music movie first wanted survey serial scream really player people yourself them straight settings remember religion policies original national mentally love like humanity hawaiian grounded greenday eyesight cybersex computer complete archives sex all right ocean guess dream winning variety trilogy totally thought theater suprise running regimes promise perfect package
She did point out that Set attacked Horus not out of lust, but because he wanted to show his power over his nephew-where was she avoiding the symbolic aspects of the mythology?
Do you think theres a Mexican Wrestler Sticker Club where Mexican wrestlers sit around and drink juice and eat graham crackers and trade stickers and scratch the stickers and then hold them up to their Mexican wrestler friends noses and say They really do smell like root beer!
I know it isn’t fair that he should be left out, but I don’t know if he’ll really enjoy the whole camping out in the middle of the wilderness during a really wet and cold October.
One of Tony’s nice friends, whose name I didn’t get, just told me Heather is running it too, so if I see her I’ll thank her for answering my question and making me feel like less of a dink for having asked it, and if I don’t, well, it’s right here.
if it comes in the form of cash found under a table and all she has to do is keep a straight face until her shift ends and she’s got more money than she’d make in two weeks, a waitress will do ANYTHING for $200.
He was finishing up the last couple of boxes to pack and as soon as they were done, he was outta there and on the road for a four day road trip to San Diego.
I’ve resolved a couple of very trying issues on my conscience and I feel that now the truth is on the plate, I can at least feel comfortable to interact openly with those I had held a veil over.
I don’t know if I am a player of the game, or I have become a piece which stands proud for its short use, then is discarded more hastily than the decision to sacrifice it.
I pity the blind, for they can only be told what’s going on, though I despise those who wear a blindfold to hide from what they don’t want to accept.
why can t they ever beautiful myself remember what relationships disspointment sometimes selling anymore relationship really traumatized experianced like either worthwhile whatsoever short heartbreak grilfriend friendship attractive absolutely someone finally clouded because love even why can something neglected listening deserving believing attention much just write never loved hurts doesn vision repeat pretty me happen did always yourself youcould raindrop pointing know favorite brunette anything actually don world there taken still maybe leave haven found cruel about wonders without therapy suppose special shouldn reasons reality prelude nowhere looking knowing fucking comming comfort when real done all wonder wanted veiled though see saying prayer people making longer.
If youre not thinking anything in particular, and youre confused about what it is that you should be thinking, its not as simple as, What the hell is wrong with you?
trying to talk to her on the phone or through messenger is nigh unto making a plan to track down Moses wearing a pink tutu and carrying the holy grail, a dodo, and a copy of Ritual de lo Habitual with the original cover art.
My parents are out of town for another 2 weeks, so we have to alternate due to the lack of babysitting, since we cannot seem to give our heathens to teenagers to watch.
The good news is, I’m headed back on the right track spiritually speaking, which in and of itself is making me at least slightly calmer about things in general.
more along the lines of, Well, its either all the drugs she did, or shes finally reached the end of her tether, and shes purging the dregs of her inane thought processes as she slowly strangles to death.
I wanted to say something to my sister, who has been my best friend and the one person to whom Ive been able to say anything at all for as long as I can remember.
I did work for Walt Disney World for six years, for the better part of my late teen’s and early twenty’s, however those days are long in the past, and I am far more content to be away from the turmoil which has erupted at Mouse House in the last few years.
Its something for my sister to respond to, and since she’s unavailable for comment at the moment, you all will have to writhe and weep and wail and gnash your teeth, driven wild with curiosity.
I call upon all Americans to display the flag at half-staff from their homes on that day and to observe a moment of silence beginning at 8:46 a. m.
The underlying theme Bush supporters was trying to push to the American people was how dare these liberals question this patriotic man at a time at war after 9/11.
I call upon the people of the United States to observe this day with appropriate ceremonies and activities, including remembrance services and candlelight vigils.
Among the most surprising results: A majority of British and South Koreans don’t think American democracy remains a model for other countries.
How can President Bush give speeches promoting democracy and expect to be taken seriously when people at home and abroad with the current election scandals in Florida, a puppet government in Iraq, and receiving an endorsement from Iran because they feel he would be more indifferent to human rights violations than John Kerry.
It is the soldier who salutes the flag, serves beneath the flag, whose coffin is draped by the flag, who gives that protester the freedom to abuse and burn that flag.
Canada has citizens who have married the royalty of Hezbollah and openly print they wish to send their children out to go blow up infidels.
The Abu Ghraib prison scandal, the open-ended detentions at Guantanamo Bay, the erosion of civil liberties – all have contributed to a sense that America’s democratic values have have been compromised during the war on terror.
No one should dare to even think about being the Commander in Chief of this country if he doesn’t believe with all his heart that our soldiers are liberators abroad and defenders of freedom at home.
I thought it would be something, but it wasn’t… sure I’m upset about it, but there’s no reason in the world why I can’t put on a smile and have a good time, and really mean it.
I figure I’ll talk to him about it all when the time is right… because I don’t want him to think I’m trying to chase after him anymore… because as we all know… there is no point.
without actually saving each women photographer christmas sister wonderful restaurant children office mullet something consoling basically party weekend restablished people compulsively announcement problems everyone after immediately deprivation contingency celebrities read things little family dennis vietnamese understand rekindling friendship everything especially compliance apparently about written without tragedy already actress poem yesterday tradition suspected stateside returning preceding obnoxious knowledge deejaying christian but biography answering work what only women wants those these great email could thinks seated really friend decent always whenever when watching virginia vacation tomorrow then than swimming straight starring schedule saturday received probably know internet insisted hospital horrible guessing gertrude freaking divorced declares daughter chuckled.
you have to have read all the emails I’ve received over the past few months about what Photographer’s doing now and who he hung out with last weekend.
No sooner than we are seated and our orders were taken when some little 20-something slacker is seated next to us, declares to the restaurant that she has a cold and wants some soup.
I would think that he has enough friends and family that’s consoling him right now without some email friend that he held hands with 30 years ago wanting in on the consoling action just on the slim chance that she’ll be able to rub elbows with a famous actress as well.
The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time, You won’t be able to watch the letterbox director’s cut of Jaws, Candy, Living above ground, Pudding crust, You’ll miss the rush of getting your first apartment, Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to ‘fuck off!
Apart from the increased likelihood of Bush winning just to piss me off, I simply do not know who is going to win.
I found out later that Kevin Smith was actually at the premier of that here, apparently.
Hell even some block busters themselves couldnt make it in this theater because they where a bit to controversial for this majority religious town.
Folks this is enough evidence for me to plead a case of temporary insanity even if none of you want to give me an alibi.
This is just one of many examples of this ass taunting me about this shitty little theater and the fact he leaves in a town with several theaters.
All Id have to do is get a smart lawyer who fills the jury box full of Kevin Smith fans and not only will they acquit me, but theyd be rooting for me to sue his estate for mental anguish.
See he is quite familiar with this shitty little burp because after all he did live here for quite awhile.
Plenty of times I have ranted here and to him about this shitty little theater and either not getting a movie or getting a kick ass one about two weeks after it was released.
Then he goes on to talk about how much it would slay him if we got it two weeks late and he could horde it over my head that he has seen it and I havent yet.
There’s a garbage strike in my city right now, and at the same time there’s all kinds of hullaballoo about The Cubs, because apparently they keep winning all their sports games and they could be up for the Big Sports Honor, whatever that is – custom fitted jewelry, or perhaps free airline tickets.
Can you sue a band for putting on a bum show after clocking the lead singer square in the family jewels with a rotten lemon at the concert in question?
there’s a mountain of trash bags outside my door and I live three blocks away from Wrigley Field and my diet pills are WEARING OFF.
I guess now that I have my new job, my lifestyle is their lifestyle, but I’m still not quite sure what to do with my wide open mornings and afternoons.
It was actually kind of a welcome contrast, though I’d be lying if I said it didn’t compliment the current dark chill breeze of tension.
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I saw this episode of Faking It, and they were trying to create a male model out of your basic…