* Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because the regret is stronger than gratitude. Anne Frank’s Diary (via funeralfaerie)
* “I think putting a dick pic on your snap story is the ultimate power move, cuz you didn’t send it to anyone specific. You’re just like ‘Here’s my …..’”
* “I like to listen to music that sounds like my computer is attempting to connect to the internet and failing.”
* “Would you take a look at you. Sacrificing yourself for others. Such a noble soul, you are. And such a waste of effort.”
* “Can you not be a dick for one second?”
* “Sweetie, one does not simply just stop being a dick. It takes a lot of time and energy and practise. And unfortunately for you, I am quite a lazy person.”“Excuse me, sir, I do have a sense of humour. For example, I’d laugh hysterically if you suddenly got hit by a bus.”
* She follows the letter of the law alright. She just rearranges the letters to spell ‘fuck you’.
* I want that on my tombstone. ‘She was the worst and had no sense of decency’.
* “I wouldn’t put it past him to spit in my drink, or shit on my birthday cake.”
* “Do everyone a favor and take three steps to the left.”

* “There’s a bomb.”
* “It was worth a shot.”
* You have any dialogue about a fallen angel
* “I’m expecting a story here, what made you fall?”
* “Wait, I just met you.”
* “You just crashed through my roof! You owe me an explanation!”
* “…Heaven’s not picky?”
* “Trust you? He’s literally a devil!”
* “The politically correct term is ‘fallen angel’.”
* “Are you serious, right now?”
* “We have feelings too you know.”
* “The Big Guy who’s literally pure goodness kicked you out, why should I let you in here?”
* “Because it’s raining and I’m cold.”

* “Why did you interfere, I had it all under control!”
* “I can see that, the explosions were very reassuring…”
* “If you insist on being a tool then go sleep in the shed”
* “You can make just about anything sound exciting if you try hard enough. That’s how I get you all to come with me every time.”
* “Are you kidding me? I would never miss a chance to watch you make a fool of yourself.”
* “You can be cute and charming some other time. I’ve got things to worry about and I refuse to be distracted.”
* “When have I ever led you astray? You can’t count yesterday- that wasn’t even entirely my fault.”
* “I guess it’s my duty to remind you that I’m not the one in charge around here. I just enforce the ‘rules’.”
* “Can you go complain to someone else? I’ve heard this so many times, I can probably quote your words from memory alone.”

* “You know what? This is the third fucking time you’ve stabbed me! You aren’t getting this knife back. It’s mine now.”
* Some advice for when you’re writing and find yourself stuck in the middle of a scene.
* “Kill someone” means kill someone in the story. Please do not kill random real life passers by every time you hit a block. My lawyer says misunderstanding writing advice is not an acceptable defense. See you all in 25 to 50 years.
* “I apologise in advance for the inconvenience my murder is going to have on your life.”
* “This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.”
* “Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”
* I’m going to need chicken blood, salt, five candles, and a bottle of vodka.” “Vodka? For the spell?”
* “No, that’s just to make me feel better about ripping a hole in the universe.”
* “It never works for us, and it never will.”
* “I’m done. I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.”
* “I can’t fall in love with you. I don’t want all the pain that comes with it.”
* “My roommate had to go into my room and throw the sheets away because I haven’t been able to sleep in that bed since you left.”
* “I keep asking myself “why isn’t the sun bright anymore” but then I remember you’re not in my life anymore and realize it’s just my own eyes.”
* “I regret it all. I really do, I swear. Please, please– let’s fix this, please.”

* “Remember when you promised we’d always be together? Because I remember when I thought you meant it.”
* “I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!”
* “The phone calls aren’t the same… I can hear in your voice that it’s not the same anymore.”
* “I’m trying to avoid talking because I know what it’ll lead to, and I don’t want that to come.”
* “Don’t you think you can fall back in love with me?”
* “This whole time I’ve been using you to make me feel better, and you never caught on. You never caught on. I want you to hate me now, but I don’t think you’re even able to.”
* “Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?”
* “Every time we fix things something else ends up breaking.”
* “Why don’t we stop pretending we’re not on a road to destruction?”
* “It wasn’t even fun at first, honestly. It was just like… Morphine.”
* “You’re just not enough anymore.”

* “It’s been too long since you’ve really smiled.”
* “Ah, it was all my fault. Wasn’t it?”
* “To think, we thought just the sex would be enough to keep us in love.”
“* Back then, I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. You needed to move on from me– I needed to protect you from me.”
* “You never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.”
* “Quit trying to fix me when you need to just fix yourself.”
* “I’m so tired of everything about us, and about how we thought we were in love, and how we think forcing it can make us be in love– I’m so tired of it.”
* “This whole time you’ve still been in love with him/her… Not me.”
* “I couldn’t make you fall in love with me. I thought I could do it, I really did, but… But I know you… And this isn’t love.”
* “Did you really think I needed that kiss back then when all that you conveyed in it was pity?”
* “To think I’ve changed so much to get you to like me, and you still never really look my way.”
* “I know I deserve better than you. I realize that, but you were so broken… I didn’t want to be the one that made you shatter.”

* “All of this was to protect myself.”
* “I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… Back when you were actually happy.”
* “I never want to even hear your name during my life anymore.”
* “Your lips used to be sanctuary, but now I just feel trapped.”
* “Isn’t it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy?”
* “The thing I regret the most is giving you so much hope by agreeing to this date.”
* “We have the kind of history anyone would never want to think about again, and you’re hear asking me on a date?”
* “What makes you think I’ll be any different this time?”
* “I’ll let you down. I will always let you down. I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.”
* “Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?”
* “I should have listened to everyone who told me this was a bad idea.”
* “I’ve never met someone who can so gently destroy me the way you do.”
* “I can’t forget about him/her! It’s not in my power to forget how he/she felt when they loved me.”
* “The saddest thing is that when I told him/her I loved him/her, he/she thought I was lying. He/she never believed someone could fall in love with him/her.”

* “Listen… You’re his/her best friend… and I completely fucked up– it’s over between us, but… please, punch me, or punish me, or do something to me because he/she just… cried. He/she wasn’t even angry, they were just so sad– Please, be angry at me, please. Give me what I deserve.”
* “It would have been better if we never met.”
* “You’re my regret.”
* “I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”
* “Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless.”
* “This is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”
* “Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love. How pathetic.”
* send a sentence and a name xx
* “The sad thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting. We could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn’t even know.”
* Person B knowing they’re undoubtedly about to die within the next few seconds, likely from the gaping wound they’re bleeding out from. Instead of calling for help, they phone Person A and carry on a casual conversation as if nothing is wrong, making sure to mention how much they love them before their time runs out.
* Alright, Satan, just calm down for a while, you’ve done your job, you can punch out for the day.

* “I’ll pick up the check.”
* “We have a joint bank account.”
* “I’m trying to stay strong, but it’s so hard. I mean, look around us.”
* “Sometimes I ask if it was supposed to be like this.”
* “I thought things would be better. That we’d have longer.”
* “I could start all over, but I don’t want a new beginning. I want what I had.”
* “Dammit, my tricks explained!
* “Try to see things from my point of view.”
* “Let’s upgrade that bromance into a mengagement.”
* “Its not even my birth- please tell me you had nothing to do with this.”

* “Love someone who is kinder to you than you are to yourself.” — Nikita Gill
* “Oh don’t worry, this blood isn’t mine.”
* “How long will this take? I got to pick up my dog from the salon.”
* “Want me to stab them?”
* “Wanna hangout on the rooftop? It’s nice tonight.”
* “Okay, who threw the pencil at me?”
* “Do you ever get a meme stuck in your head?”
* “A vampire? Pfffffffft.”
* “These shoes? They are steel toed, why?”
* “Take me for a fool? I can balance a spoon on my nose, who is the real fool now?”
* “Today was suppose to be my day.”
* “Can I lick the spoon after?”
* “Please tell me that was the wind.”
* “I hate you. Why are you here?”
* “Because you’re a piece of sh-!”
* “You’re so confident that you already bought their coffin?”
* “Let them know that I called.”

* “Have you ever seen the water so blue before?”
* “No, I’m pretty sure that’s a crocodile.”
* “If I could dig my nails into your throat and pull out your vocal cords, I would.”
* “I told you this aint good.”
* “This isn’t remotely what I asked for.”
* “Yeah honey, your cooking is great. I love it.”
* “Can you let me twirl my knife in peace?”
* “What? I can’t send a message to the enemy?”
* “The moonlight shone red over the crops this year. The farmers knew that only meant one thing, and so, they went to work.”
* “Oh no, he’s hot.”
* “You can’t say that every time you see your arch nemesis.”
* “Why don’t you trust me?”
* “Do you want it alphabetized or by date?”

* “At least you’ll die doing what you love; Walking into danger.”
* “Here’s some cookies and some very bad news!”
* “I have forgotten everything I’ve ever learned.”
* “Let me keep that promise.”
* “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”
* “Why am I always the funniest when no one is around to hear it?”
* “Can you stay still for the next 20 minutes? No, I’m not drawing you.”
* “Oh no, I feel bad- SYKE, no I don’t.”
* “Next problem… we might die.”
* “Wow, that was a great comeback.”
* “Who is running this thing?!”
* “You are aware that walls aren’t people, right?”
* “Hey, go fill up your human needs.”
* “Yeah, keep making jokes. That’ll win the war.”

* “Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.”
* “I think… everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves.”
* “I can’t help that I’m curious.”
* “I know you. You’re a terrible person. But as the judge here, I will look at you in the unbiased way you don’t deserve.”
* “The mountains are calling and I must skedaddle.
* “Who says ‘nincompoop’?!”
* “Things fascinate me. Why wouldn’t they, when you stop to give them thought?”
* “Are you always so easily convinced?”
* “Look, it’s difficult for me to isolate what I hate about you the most because there is so much to hate.”
* “That’s an order. Obey.”
* “Look, I don’t want to swear but; What. The frick!”
* “As the most amazing person in the room, I’ll gladly accept that.”
* “Now power down, sass robot.”
* “The art of not being an idiot is extremely challenging for me.”
* “That’s troubling.”
* “Tell your story. Become words, become ideas… you never know what or who it’ll affect.”
* “I wish you could block people in real life.”
* “Restraining order.”
* “Why? I’m lovely.”
* “Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda.”
* “No, it’s on mine, just not until next Thursday.”
* “Hold on, you died.”
* “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”
* She’s crying, what do I do?”

* “Oh my god, we’re all going to die.”
* “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?”
* “I saved your lives.” “How? By stealing our freedom? Our minds? Our identity?”
* “It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.”
* “I’m getting really tired of pretending I’m not evil.”
* “Did you just agree with me?” “Oh I wish I could take-” “Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”
* “It’s a long story.” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”
* “I regret a lot of things. Having this conversation tops the list.”
* “I had a thought.” “Oh no.” “I swear it’s a good one this time!’
* “FBI, open the door!” “No. It’s cooler when you break in.”
* “Do you think they remember you?” “I sure hope not after what I did the last time I was here.” “What did you do?” “You’ll find out.”
* “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”
* “You scared me!” “Well, I am naturally terrifying.”
* “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
* “You’re immortal, and I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that.”
* “You really have no clue who I am?”
* “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”
* “I am way too sober for this.”
* “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.”
* “I don’t think of you as a protector. More like a distraction.”

* “Oh go sit on a a cactus.”
* “The president needs me to do what?”
* “Do you even own a shirt?!”
* “Was I suppose to be impressed?”
* “How am I suppose to be calm at a time like this?”
* “Everything is awful and nothing matters.”
* “I forgot how much I hate you.”
* “Everyone knows the 90s were the epitome of high fashion.”
* “Is that a dragon?”
* “Why is the bathtub full of gold fish?”
* “You call that a pizza?”
* “Stop complaining at least you only broke one leg?” “YOU BROKE MY LEG!” “I said I was sorry.”
* “Did you run a background check on me?”
* “How was I supposed to know there was someone in the trunk? I was just stealing the car not trying to kidnap you!”
* “Are you saying you don’t accept my rose?”
* “What do you mean you don’t know who Batman is?”
* “Are you trying to psychoanalyze me?” “Well I did take a psych class in college.”

* “Just go to sleep.”
* “You can’t sing and dance your way our of every problem, this isn’t a musical.”
* “If you frown any harder your face will stay like that.”
* “You’ve always been trouble.”
* “I heard you singing Taylor Swift in the shower this morning, are you okay?”
* “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I never want to see you again.”
* “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
* “What are you, a vampire or something?”
* “According to US Weekly we’re married.”
* “Don’t leave me alone with him, he’s got a murder-y face.”
* “You said you were good at baseball!”
* “Did you steal someone’s cat?”
* “I need a favor.”
* “Stop being such a baby.”
* “Who said I hate you?”
* “You’re not a 1920s mobster, stop acting like you are.”
* “Regina George would be impressed with you.”
* “Are you crying because we ran out of pizza?”
* “Wow she’s way better than you, does that make you feel bad?”
* “I bet you ten dollars you won’t kiss me.”
* “If you don’t hurry up all the good fruit will be gone.”
* “Since when do you have a stand at the farmers market?”
* “Did you actually carve that?”

* “I can’t get up there are three dogs on my lap.”
* “My dad mailed me all my old yearbooks, I never noticed that you were in ever picture with me.”
* “Stop playing games.”
* “It’s 2 AM, why are you here?”
* “… Where are your pants?”
* “Please don’t give me a ticket, my dad will kill me!”
* “How’d you get here so fast? Can you teleport?”
* “Is that my shirt?”
* “Are you an undercover cop or something?”
* “I’m not a pirate I’m a privateer.”
* “Well my mom thinks I’m special.”
* “I… I think I love you.”
* “Make that bird stop chirping, I’m trying to sleep.”
* “Stop running away!” “Then stop trying to protect me!”
* “Are you… are you growling at me?”
* “Look I was suppose to take my sister to the Ed Sheeran concert but she ditched me, want to go with me instead?”
* “You look really familiar, do I know you?” “I think we matched on Tinder a few months back.”
* “You brood more than Bruce Wayne.”

* “We’re closed.”
* “Shit! I forgot your birthday didn’t I?”
* “Just go with it.”
* “I need a favor, and not the sexual kind.”
* “Wow amazing, it’s like you’re trying to be an asshat.”
* “Your pickup lines weren’t cute in high school, they definitely aren’t cute now.”
* “Why did someone just tell me that they ship us?”
* “How many seasons did you watch today?”
* “If you make one more stupid pun, I will actually stab you.”
* “Never do stupid shit alone, always do it with a friend.”
* “Stop laughing every time the announcer says 69.”
* “You look good in green.”
* “You can’t come here and only eat the free samples.”
* “I’ve never lost in a bake off.”
* “I wrote you a song.”
* “It’s been 10 years how do you still look so good?”
* “Don’t you dare bite me, I’m mad at you!”
* “We have our differences. He’s more courageous but I’m better looking.”

* “It’s not the world that needs saving. It’s you.”
* “You can’t go that way! We can legally only go straight!”
* “I pirated music, I can turn right.”
* “You are absolutely insane.”
* “You know that thing that you did just now?”
* “Don’t do it again.”
* “Why do you keep hitting me?”
* “Hitting you? What- this is me trying to flirt with you.”
* “Well you’re not doing a very good job at it.”
* “I’m having a gay crisis.”
* “You’re always having a gay crisis.”
* “Damn, it’s hot in here.”
* “Would you like me to leave?” “Because I’m so hot.”
* “No, I got it. It just wasn’t funny.”