Your dreams express what you really deep down inside want, some come true.
Today in gym Marie was being mopey as usual and asked me why I was mad at her.
Sometimes it feels like I’m dying.
I feel like your style goes beyond recognition, its simply and irresistibly beautiful.
Like I said the layout says to have hope no matter what, and that’s what keeps us going.
That would help with who some of the people you talk about are.
I’m so tired I’m worried half of this is going to be in Farsi or something because I’ll forget how to speak English.
Everything has a twist, you just make them clever so the audience has to use a tad more brain cells to think about it.
And I’ve recently started cutting again, which you didn’t know about in the first place.
It made me think and think I did.
Now your put back on earth to do the same thing, and you’ll be more than good at it.
It is funny, but a pun needs to have meaning behind it.
Who/what do you remind me of: Maybe I’m going crazy but I swear you remind me of a earth muse.
It amazed me at how much I could relate to you and how much I kept dropping my jaw because of your habits.
My mood: I’m in a good mood, for the fact that I’ve realized some things and their not that pretty.
Eh I wouldn’t go that far, but they are pretty.
Your making your own little world with you as the leader.
Dreams reflect what will one day happen, it might not be the same exact thing but pretty close.
So between that and pizza my stomach is dying.
That’s money I’m supposed to be saving for buying gas, but I’m an asshole.
Issues with jealousy?
I’ll see if I can keep the thing entertaining, though don’t expect anything original.
There is just a misconception about drugs that affect your mental state, and plenty of preconceptions about the people who take them.
I miss seeing you and I wondered where you’d been.
Although there aren’t any words to make it all better, yours do help.
I am not familiar with this concept.: P As for me not being all-powerful, well, don’t make me do it…
Sometimes I wish life were more simple than this…
Man, I’m impressed and insanely jealous, lucky girl you.
Just thought I’d come check out what Mattie’s being doing here on the dark side.
I see he’s removing his clothes, as usual.
I must say that there are very few people on earth who I’d rather look like more than that guy.
I hope your arm feels better soon.
You won’t have to worry about me taking your name off my favourites list, I love Travis!
I’ve known myself to check diaries several times a day without noticing and it feels like it’s been ages since there was last an entry.
They’re the only band to ever win the award since it was created.
I really like writing to get rid of everything in my head, but no one it would affect should ever know about it.
Put that back on bad boy.
Best Group, best Rock Album?
How’d you find me anyways?
Speaking of new places, perhaps I should add a second sometime, huh?
I’ve locked up.
There will be 3.
It probably was only a day since I created before adding the entry.
Don’t make me do it again.
It’s quite personal, so I’m sorry if it never makes complete sense to you.
I’ll put them up later.
I really must learn HTML.
I’m glad you understood my entry.
I also saw their rendition of The Greatest View.
I guess everyone has their demons, and these might be mine…
I feel so unimportant when I have absolutely no audience, but I’d really piss off my friends with this one…
Poor guy, it happend again!
I was happy that Daniel’s arthritis is beginning to allow him to play here and there.
I didn’t mean to lie.
Well now that is impressive!
As far as I know, he’s can only play guitar for 15 minutes at a time.
Everyone seems to know it these days, and that’s without learning it in school.
Don’t influence me like that!
If you need it, you need it.
I tried to ENJOY MYSELF with JUNK FOODS and BOOZE!
No need to all explode blood vessels across the bloated hemisphere of my visage every time I try to laugh at something.
Excuse me, miss?
Never leave me!
Yes, I’ll sign all four receipts.
GOD, i hate you SO MUCH.
Get involved in a club or activity.
Make friends with the people in your classes.
I’ve spent the last three days holed up in my apartment, making genius art and eating celery.
Did I mention that one of my friends who was a PA on Spider-Man One said that you like it up the butt?
Well, then, can I withdraw cash from you, the teller, and then can you slide it under the little partition to me, and THEN can I purchase my cashier’s check?
At least Kirsten only has craggly fang-cisors, whereas you have eyes like infected stab-wounds.
I totally couldn’t talk without you, seriously, for real.
This seems like a good use of paper.
You are saying that I cannot purchase a cashier’s check using my checking account?
Quit it with the roiling.
Keep in some contact with your favorite teachers… they may have some good advice.
Why, for instance, does this totally cute girl i know.
Your marketing concept team is really on the ball!
I mean, I have a big face, but that’s because I live on candy and grain alcohol.
And I am totally not surprised.
How would I speak without you?
No, I do not have my checks with me..
What I don’t get, however, is why the spread is so far apart.
You have a fat face because you’re a hateful whore.
Simply by injecting my yogurt with air, you are able to sell me 4oz.
My skin is exploding like a rural fire station’s Fourth of July Firework Non-Stravaganza and it’s retarded.
Don’t be discouraged when you don’t find that special something first semester, or second…
And I know you use the odd numbers whereas I use the even numbers, ostensibly to cause less confusion.
That Peaches ‘N Cream shit is motherfucking delicious though.
Learn to appreciate an easy grading system!
Live everyday to its fullest.
I’ll do that for the rest of the weekend if you’ll flare DOWN.
Find something you would truly love to do for the rest of your life and chase it.
I tried to go OUT IN THE SUN!
I know that your clothes are all cut for tiny, slim-hipped-to-hipless, barely-breasted preteens, and mine are made for most women past puberty.
Even when you’re down to your post-Bridget Jones Skeletoriestablished you still have a big puffy fatface.
I know i pack you full of crap, but d’you hear my lungs, liver, or heart complaining will all kinds of grindy noises and snowglobey sloshing?
More so because I feel like I have met you for a reason, and I absolutely DO NOT want to ruin things or allow myself to get hurt any more.
I felt used and mostly betrayed-especially since I considered him a friend.
I guess I will be more open and honest here in this e-mail.
I think what I am trying to say is that Ive been hurt in the past, so I am trying to do things right this time.
But, as time moved on-I knew exactly what to do.
what a waste of my money.
Guess what-I have always told you about the vast amount of clothes/shoes I own.
I knew I would be graduating in December-and I thought I could move closer to him, go to grad school/get a job, and then I saw marriage in a year or two.
I think I’m falling for Reed….
Whenever I first met you, I had also just met another guy.
It is managing those times and treating each other honestly and respectfully that is key.
I was hurt very badly.
Simply my own opinion, but you can’t prepare for those things.
I always felt attracted to him in HS, and one night-we had a party, things went too far, and I stupidly and drunkenly got with this guy.
There will be times when you want to rip my head off and me likewise.
I am one who gives my everything in a relationship.
That blows my mind because I couldn’t imagine anything being better than that., but I know it is just a matter of time.
We would talk on the phone, but not very often.
I think it is time for me to be more mature when it comes to relationships, etc.
Partying just isn’t nearly as important anymore.
One thing that you don’t have to worry about is being taken for granted.
Would she have done what she did if I had just been a better………
That totally swept me off my feet, and from then on, I have lost almost all connections with the lawyer.
The most valuable lesson that I learned about my relationship with …….
It simply wasn’t in the cards.
Turns out, this guy was a complete and total ass.
It must wait until we know we are right for each other.
You will find that there will be times when you want to go out and go crazy and all of those things, and all I want to do is go to bed.
As far as the sex issue, I haven’t been very open about that either.
I hope this clears some things up.
Don’t trick yourself into feeling that the way you acted caused the demise of any relationship you have ever been in.
So, I opened it… and guess what-my new shoes were still in the box.
You have everything I look for in a guy.
It isn’t my decision.
So, when I started talking to you and the lawyer, I was torn between what to do.
I did it mostly because I was trying to forget about Ryan-and then partly I did it because I was drunk and not thinking about the consequences.
I had no idea I even had a pair of shoes like that!
So tonight, I decide to pick up a few thingsin my room-and I rearrange my shoes in my closet.
Now I am trying to make a name for myself, I am trying to succeed in a competitive business and provide for a family that I may someday have.
Thank you for being honest with me.
I knew it was time to move on from my ex, because he was just a jerk.
I see great things coming from this.
They were a little big-didnt feel like they did the last time I wore them, so at lunch I came home and put on thicker socks with them-because I was wearing really thin dress socks.
Let me shed my own opinion on a couple of things that you said.
I understand your point though.
I started going to church, praying, etc… and after that is exactly when you came into my life.
When Ryan broke up with me, I thought my dreams were shattered.
Student teaching-kids-school-that is all that consumes my life.
Like I said the other night, I am not in a position to say that you and I will always be together or not.
But, today I wore another pair of black shoes-just like the ones I just bought.
The first being the line where you said you are trying to grow up so that you don’t get hurt again or make the same mistakes that you have made in the past.
I saw the lawyer on occassion-whenever I went to Rowena softball games this summer, because he was on a team.
But my idea of a working relationship is one where you put everything out there to be scrutinized and work through all the kinks.
I used to be the wild party girl-and, I still love to go out and have a great time, but my feelings towards certain things have changed.
I want to get to know you a lot better, and I know, or at least I think so, that you want to get to know me better as well.
But then-there was you-who called me all the time, who wrote me e-mails, and who made attempts to come out with my friends and I.
So I can look at that now and say to myself that God has a plan for me to meet someone and have even a better relationship than I had with Cody.
I appreciate your honestablished and I am glad that you feel comfortable enough around me to tell me those things.
When I lived at home, I attended church regularly and had a close relationship with God, but at college-you know how it is.
I am glad that we had a talk last night too.
I spent five years in college staying out until six in the morning doing every stupid thing in the world.
Just from the short time we have known each other-I can already tell you are a wonderful guy.
You come from a wonderful family-you have very high morals, and great character.
Neither one of us has the ability to dodge every fight or disagreement that we are sure to have.
I tried to forget, but it was hard.
I hope this helps you know where I stand.. and I am sorry if I let you know too much-but, I think you should know, and I would hope to think that you deserve to know this too.
I move the shoe box-the shoe box that my new shoes came in-and it was heavy.
I am finished with my work now, I am just checking mail-catching up on everyone and everything.
I was torn up-and had been an emotional wreck for the most of this summer.
I am not sure if I have ever known someone who is twenty one years old who handles their business as maturely or responsibly as you do.
Then, over the fourth of July weekend, a guy I graduated with came down to visit from the army.
Now, I can look back and I know to learn from the mistakes instead of dwelling on them.
I had steered away from church and God during my years of college.
After all this happened this summer, I decided I needed to work on that relationship again.
But I pulled away suddenly not wanting to do much more.
Well, I had met this guy earlier on in the summer- He is older…33, never been married, and is a lawyer here in town.
I thought I was in love-though young, I thought I had my life figured out.
I know this sounds corny, but I feel like all this happened for a reason.
Thankfully I fell asleep and didn’t wake up till work called at 8:15 AM.
Im running a bit late as I just rolled off of your mom, but I just wanted you to know that you should shut up because you suck and no one likes you.
I started sneezing, coughing and getting feverish again.
Finally about 2am I laid down again.
Other than the gatorade, during the daytime I was taking a decongestant to try and drain stuff as much as possible.
Or maybe everyone is thinking, You were gone?
Even though I hadn’t had anything solid for at least 36 hours – I started feeling nauseous.
Okay, someone else out there is sick with this nasty flu.
I don’t remember when my neighbor went home, but even though I hadn’t napped all day I just couldn’t rest again.
My rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine V.
I hope and pray that I do, and you too if you have this nasty nasty flu.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
I’m used to that routine from having the allergies.
More gatorade and light food.
Only seven years to go and Im half way there.
Took a shower and put on some clean clothes.
The sore throat was still gone.
Massive huge shoutouts to dream-bow, kathiec, dombilly, glass-fairy, toxicdesire, mylovedies, and thatmarygirl for leaving a note on my birthday.
No need to yell stuff out during the show.
Its all part of my plan to become a total recluse by the age of thirty.
When I awoke the second day of feeling sick, I had a painfully swollen throat and felt just plain bad.
So, I ended up staying awake, mostly playing word games online again and checking on the Christmas stuff I ordered from Ebay till about 2am, which seems to be the magic hour or something.
I woke up four days ago with a scratchy throat and a bit of a stuffy head.
I am here to ruin your evening.
I mean I wouldn’t want to switch it because I like the fact that my usual self is able to take naps at will and I can sleep pretty much anywhere.
But I could be wrong.
I called into work, my voice about 4 octaves lower than normal, and said I’d be home sick for the day.
Therefore I am only on the computer from about eight to ten mountain time, and then really early in the morning.
Im sure everyone is wondering, What the hell happened to Alice?
Just a little over 99 degrees, nothing severe.
What the fuck?
I slept till about 5:30 am.
I was running a mild fever on and off.